but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize