batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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