Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
