It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
