nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
