Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
