last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
