Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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