Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
