I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
