East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She has the best kind of daddy issues
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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