I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
