So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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