Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
