dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
