I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
