The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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