We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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