i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
