I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
