i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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