OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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