dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
