I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
