Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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