Nicole vs. Life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize