just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
