dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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