She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
