I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
