onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
