That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
