a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
