I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she told me i tasted like america
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
