Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
