would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
