These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
