AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
