i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
