You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
