She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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