Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
