i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
