We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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