She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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