i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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