Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just found puke in my bra..
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
