Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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