so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
