butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I would ride that face into the sunset
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
