what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
