I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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