i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
