Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
