this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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