Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
North Korea, Best Korea!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
