I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm both gender and math confused
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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