Dual....:-)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
