It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
