all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
