WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
