Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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