are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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